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Sunday, November 2, 2008

So did I mention that autumn is when I think about my Old Earth









I use to love autumn. I live in New England where people come from all over to see that transition. I use to know a girl whose name was autumn who was beautiful. She was from NYC going to Yale and I taught her how to drive yet I wasn't swift enough to realize that she should've been mine's and when I was ready the leaves on her tree had fallen and her hear was winter to me. Autumn is when green bleeds into orange red chakras that hum. I use to love autumn before my Old Earth returned to the essence and we lowered her physical shell into the gound on a rainy October afternoon. Before it even reaches my conscious the change in the season starts screeching against my subconscious. It seems that negative things tend to accumulate around me during autumn. My oldest brother and oldest sister returned to their essence around that time. I broke up with my ex in fall and lost my son for a moment in autumn. And one who I care for deeply I lost her in summer before fall. I still have unresolved issues from my Old Earth's return. The greatest gift that my father and mother gave me was showing me how a relationship works. It's funny that many times you work to express this to others yet due to their own experience they refuse to belive that it can exist. Through that mileage they raised us with a beautiful care that I can never thank them for. I have a heavy heart sometimes because my Old Earth didn't see me give this to my son. My father washed my Old Earth's full body in baths and showers when she couldn't do that herself. I never saw them run from each other. They only ran toward each other. Sometimes I think that loving my son is the one right thing that I've done in this life. October causes me to be an emotional wreck in so many ways and sometimes even a damn sitcom will cause me to well up. This is the first year though that I am bringing the sun (of man) into the fall. So much has gotten done. So much is getting done. And people reveal theirselves as who they are in your life via actions vs words. I wish she could see it as it unfolds.

Her name is Doris Hill Massie.







4 comments:

Serenity Love Divine Earth said...

Which one are you?

C'BS ALife Allah said...

i'm middle dude

Ensayn1 said...

Respect and overstanding, I will see October in another way since my father returned to the Essence this very same month.

C'BS ALife Allah said...

yes...time of transition