Asiatic Light Micropress. My business.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Burger King..somebody snatch that crown

Back in the meat eating days of my youth I liked Burger King over McDonalds. I mean I liked the food at Mickey D's better yet Burger King always had the round the way girls working there who I could kick it to while I was waiting for 'fries to go with that shake'. Also, when I was way smaller they had fresher characters that were like right out of H.R. Pufnstuff.

Earlier in the Burger King franchise history, there was a Burger King Kingdom (a la "McDonaldLand"). It was populated with a number of interesting characters (phased out in the 1980s) that included the Burger King, of course; Sir Shakes-A-Lot (who wore a milkshake container for a hat and constantly craved milkshakes to drink); The Burger Thing (a living hamburger mounted in a picture frame who liked to sing); The Wizard of Fries (a robot with a head filled with French fries); and The Duke Of Doubt (a villainous guy who doubted the Burger King's magical abilities - "That's impossible to do!"). Once, seeing that the Burger King could create food from thin air, the Duke of Doubt asks "Make me a shake." The King happily obliges by turning the Duke into a giant milkshake. The ad campaign slogan was "Magic makes it special when your with Burger King."

With the advent of movies like 'Super Size Me' and the other of billion reports coming through on obesity in the United States one thing is food is one of the major archdaemons of the S.tandard A.merican D.iet.

Yet beyond that there is the spector of fast food corporations being involved with environmental racism issues worldwide (like killing of the rain forest in South America to make more land for more cattle). Also, they act in fashions that are very similar to the past colonial powers..well..because they are the damn spawn of colonial powers.

One of the current things on the chopping block is the Whopper Virgins ad campaign. In a few words its just about exploiting people and wasting money. Fast food is the new colonial Bible. Teaching people how to eat the wrong foods just keeps popping up doesn't it.

And if I show up smelling like meat you already know that I've sold my soul to the devil.


Serenity Love Divine Earth said...

Why did you forget the 'Burger Queen'? I remember her.

But you speak blasphemy when you say you preferred BK over Mickey D's! And Mickey D's had better pretend people and stuff. My old Earth still has the glasses with all the characters on it. My favorite was a tie between Grimmace and the Hamburgler! LOL!


Ravynn said...

ewww...I hope whoever buys this cologne gets chased by a pack of stray dogs. Preferably Pits and Rotties. =)